{"id":23093,"title":"VeeBlog - Vee came to drop Boms","description":"The third instalment of our story. On the face of it, not a busy month but enough loopy fiascos to kick and push VeeBom to the next stage.","content":"

September 2022<\/strong><\/p>

Jesus vs Skateboarding - FIGHT!<\/h3>

Yo, so this was a right old month, dude. The first week was a whirlwind of delight. Me, my wife and daughter went away on holiday, off the back of a heavy week of skateboarding and getting schwifty. We went to Butlin's in Skegness, which conjured up all sorts of nostalgic memories for me.<\/p>

Remember the Jesus camps I mentioned in my first blog? Well, one of these was held at Butlin's every Easter. I used to go every year from the age of, maybe, eight or nine to when I was 16. Jesus camp was, basically, a festival but for religious folk. So minus the massive stages with awesome DJs, copious amount of booze & drugs and floods of debauchery. In place of that was seminars about the bible, public domain songs re-written and performed by Christian rock bands and wholesome Christian entertainment. Glastonbury eat your f*cking heart out, yeah?<\/p>

\"isndtonlo29q3yhavkkbyhs1ygwlq5alt21nnj8cx72mfc1u.jpg\"<\/p>

Jesus Christ is the illest\u2026<\/em><\/p>

What's Jesus camp got to do with skateboarding and VeeBom, though, I hear you asking. Well, instead of being a good Christian boy and going to the obligatory meetings and socialising with other good Christian boys and girls, I spent most of my time exploring every inch of the Butlin's resort to find even the least bit skateable spots and thrash it out. Oh, aye, that and jumping off balconies into bushes, smoking ciggies in the old monorail and getting baked as f*ck.<\/p>

\"e1kdpzoprhgfebn68eudaifv5hhdkaclpjljv5op95egf6pu.jpg\"<\/p>

Monoraaaaaaaail!<\/em><\/p>

One year there was a huge group of us, all united by skateboarding, who met there. We skated every day at the same spot, just opposite the main restaurants. The spot was awesome: those super smooth concrete paving slabs that you never seem to see any more, benches, giant concrete balls and picnic benches nearby. Y'know that section of Rodney Mullen's video at the end of Tony Hawk's Pro skater 2<\/u><\/strong><\/a>, where he has, like, 5 picnic benches lined up and goes to town on them? We did something similar, only nowhere near as technical or perfectly executed. BUT what we did do was have a great time, make friends and learn new things.<\/p>

That's what I f*cking love about skateboarding. You can go anywhere in the world, meet other skateboarders and the outcome is always the same - have a great time. Make friends. Learn new things.<\/p><\/blockquote>

That's why I want to be in the skateboarding business, why I want to give back to our community and promote the benefits of skateboarding to the world. Skateboarding was the single greatest enabler in my personal growth as a human and so why wouldn't I want to share that with as many people as possible?<\/p>

\"nqsjhmfs6uuqdxndjchrkqyvbgkszylkv3p7vp96supbmlxe.png\"<\/p>

At this point I'm 98% certain that 13 year old Dave is actually Derren Brown - nahwhatahmsayin\u2019?<\/em><\/p>

Reggie-nah<\/h3>

Right back to September then, yeah? So, after a couple of days of dragging the wife round Butlin's and chewing her ear off about how \u201cI did a kickflip down those steps\u201d or \u201cthat's where security confiscated my board and chased us round til 2am.\u201d Mrs HZ couldn't have given two sh*ts, but it was rad for me to see these places 20 years later.<\/p>

From this point on, September started to suck.<\/p>

Thursday 8th September - we slept through the Peppa Pig live show. We spent loads of time, effort and money on winning, like, 2000 tickets down the arcade, only to find they were worth about \u00a314 worth of prizes. Oh, also, something else happened, what was it\u2026? Oh yeah, the f*cking Queen died. Well, Liz, so long and thanks for the cashews - rest in peace and all of that.<\/p>

\"rkjzcr6cfwvhoeg1s6pvs2u2uixttmhideitumogeizghoza.jpg\"<\/p>

The Queen is dead, long live Macho King!<\/em><\/p>

The following week I get back to work at Reggie's Tarts to a meeting with Justin, the regional manager, for him to spout some bullsh*t at me about how he thought I wasn't performing and he was looking at my capability of doing my job. When I think of Justin, I'm reminded of the Sleaford Mods song, fizzy <\/u><\/strong><\/a>which talks about \u201cthe c*nt in the front with the Buzz Lightyear hair cut, calling the workers plebs, who has a taste for young girls.\u201d That's the vibe I get from Justin. Especially when the basis of my \u201cunderperformance\u201d is that I called a Co-worker \u201cdude\u201d, I sent an email to all staff to tell them I was their friendly neighbourhood duty manager one Saturday, I move too quickly around the building at work and my flan management reporting system made the numbers sound bad when he fed them up the chain to head office.<\/p>

\"knhcc9u174z89hpiztwgtrxmjyhlftng5qq55ighrmkrha0k.png\"<\/p>

Actual statistics, taken from the company annual report, demonstrating staff buy-in (Reggie's Tarts - 2022)<\/em><\/p>

So how do we fix it? Let's re-arrange the spread sheet so that it only tells us the orders outstanding, instead of using our eyes and brains to figure out the exact same information from what's already there. Yeah, head office will be none the wiser. Nice one Justin. Please re-refer to the above\u2026<\/strong><\/p>

As for the rest of it - well, I guess they're all legitimate reasons to suggest somebody can't do their job properly, right? Yeah, I f*cking thought not too.<\/p>

So crash landing back into the world of 9-5 after an enlightening break, that brightened up my outlook for the future, pushing toward the realisation of a 20 year old dream, never more did I think F*CK REGGIE AND HIS BULLSH*T TARTS!<\/p>

Two Reggies, one month, zero f*cks\u2026<\/p>

\"lxxsv9wogxnszbmbdwtfubvywpvkucrmowdi8lmz0hum5mig.jpg\"<\/p>

Don't do drugs, stay in school and absolutely DO NOT lightly reference pop culture!<\/em><\/p>

Give me purpose!<\/h3>

With the past two months in mind, where I've been California schemin\u2019 on how I can get my dream to be a reality, nothing gives you that good ol\u2019 kick and a push, like a loopy fiasco at work (for example).<\/p>

I was scrolling through Facebook one night and stumbled across one of those generic posts by some dude who \u201cmade millions selling their ethos around the world\u201d - it's often a guy standing in a sunny car park, wearing sunglasses - holding talks with would-be entrepreneurs to guide their journey in the world of achieving their goals. I don't usually bite on that sh*t, but I thought I'd give this vid a watch, for some reason. There was one line that stood out to me, and it got me good. This guy said something along the lines of \u201cthe only way you will get to your goal is if YOU do something about it.\u201d<\/p>

\"r1nx3fl56valivk7qhmpzxjzd05rqjjonvwy8w1tpoou7rdd.jpg\"<\/p>

*Wellies not included. Dreams sold separately<\/em><\/p>

Man, it's so simple when you think about it but, the dude has a SERIOUS point. If I ain't doing anything - who the f*ck is? Maybe I'm not immune to these pyramid, social media, click bait success stories? I dunno.<\/p>

Another big fat driver in all of this is my daughter. I became a dad last August and, with her, achieved another 20 year dream.<\/p>

There is absolutely nothing on this earth that compares to parenthood. Not skateboarding. Not selling skateboards. Not even hanging out with our lord JC at a world famous seaside resort!<\/p><\/blockquote>

More than just a big fat driver in all of this, probably, the main driver was my daughter.<\/p>

Y'know when you think about when your kids are asked what do your mummy and daddy do? Nothing would make me more proud than my little girl's answer to that question being \u201cmy daddy sells skateboards.\u201d<\/p>

So, yeah, my pal Mike lit the fuse, Johnny Pyramid sent the order, but my baby girl, she packed the gunpowder and planted that sh*t, deep.<\/p>

\"jvuxwwpknwit7wpc02nwoalf2zl56zfdsbjcmzjyetma5agk.png\"<\/p>

What the f*ck does yours do?<\/em><\/p>

What happened, then?<\/h3>

Right, let's chalk the month up and see what's happening:<\/p>

  • Banging holiday - serious nostalgia, skateboarding ooze coursing through my veins. Family bliss and joyous memories by all accounts.<\/p><\/li>

  • Death of a saleswoman - Lizzie Regina, beloved UK hardcore waver, loses her battle with old father time and blesses Mrs HZ with the skillz to score 2000 arcade tickets.<\/p><\/li>

  • Tart to finish - Justin Lightyear makes a powermove and moves a pawn closer to the opposite side for promotion to queen.<\/p><\/li>

  • Real eyes realise real lies - maybe Johnny Pyramid was bullsh*tting and he actually just spoke to his mates, once, about an idea he kind of had.<\/p><\/li>

  • Daughter = slaughter - being a parent is the single biggest motivator on this fine planet.<\/p><\/li><\/ul>

    \"dor0siglrmh4t6k1z3b8rygaqokvnm3fpqydu5rxggbjoxty.jpg\"<\/p>

    Did you do anything towards VeeBom then, Dave?<\/strong><\/p>

    In short\u2026 nah, I f*cking didn't. Barring a couple of cry w*nks over how much of a loser I was and whinging, to anybody who would listen, about how the Tart business just wasn't filling my flan anymore. I did nothing.<\/p>

    Pretty sure that's one more on the procrastinator tip - something will happen, soon, I promise!<\/p>

    Anec-totally\u2026<\/h3>

    As it happens, I didn't get a great deal of VeeBom work done, this month, but other such life things happened .<\/p>

    Remember my wrestling alter-ego, Ronnie Zym? No? Never mind, I'll tell you anyway, cos it's a gas and a wheeze, like.<\/p>

    So my tag team partner, Dubi-L, is getting married and his stag do, postponed from the pandemic, finally came around. The group settled on a couple of nights in Newcastle with the most canny being the Saturday night, where we'd all get morts and ha-way like nobody's business.<\/p>

    I rocked up on the Saturday for brunch and cocktails - la-de-dah, right? I decided not to eat and try and get ars*holed as quickly as possible. Turns out, being a dad makes that objective about 100 times easier - given that I've barely drank anything since my little treasure and delight was born.<\/p>

    After brunch, we head back to the hostel to get sorted for the first activity of the night - greyhound racing. By this point Dubi-L and I are getting into the old swing of things - it absolutely IS the Jon and Dave show this time around, yeah?<\/em><\/p>

    \"ygucqaroza8iho7sapv4xepzow1llp5zqgbvi83ck4mytd1q.jpg\"<\/p>

    We get down to business, like the good ol\u2019 days in the office backstage and before too long, we are f*cking tanked, dude. Quick as you like, it's time for us to take a shady walk through a few housing estates, an overgrown parkland and an industrial estate. Here we are then, an adult indoor crazy golf joint. The place looks rad as f*ck, I'm well into this. \u201cRight, Dubi, let's get a tall one from the filing cabinet before we tee off, yeah?\u201d<\/p>

    Bad idea.<\/p>

    Fit for human consumption we are no more. Next thing I know, we've been plonked outside by security and banished from crazy golf. Who the f*ck knew that even crazy golf had bouncers, these days??<\/em><\/p>

    Sh*tter - how much of a d*ck do I feel for getting the stag kicked out of his own stag do? So I guess we're off back to the hostel, to get smasheyes, then.<\/p>

    \u201cSeriously, Ronnie, I'd much rather be doing this than what the group had in store.\u201d - somehow, this felt more like Dubi trying to appease my guilt for screwing up his stag do, but it was enough.<\/p>

    What should we do now? Get c*nted and listen to wrestling theme tunes from back in the day? Correct answer.<\/p>

    That's exactly what we did.<\/p>

    What happens when you and your buddy haven't got on it like you used to for more than five years and slip straight back into it like not a day has passed? Bad things, dude. REAL bad things.<\/p>

    Being the cleverdick I am, I thought we could still handle the same old portions, so went all out. DUMB! F*CKING WELL DUMB!<\/p>

    I poured one out and we toasted the good old days - hoorah! IT'S A CELEBRATION B*THCES. Everything was great. For, like, five minutes.<\/p>

    Then. It. Kicked. In.<\/p>

    Is my best friend dead? Why doesn't it look like he's breathing? I don't think I can feel a pulse\u2026 He's not moving. SH*T!<\/p>

    \"ni4z4nwbpwn0udpxnosps2mohz1czekzwgt17fqpqdolgtm1.jpg\"<\/p>

    Surefire ways to ruin a stag do:<\/p>

    • Get the stag kicked out of his own party.<\/p><\/li>

    • Abandon the group and head back to the accommodation.<\/p><\/li>

    • Inadvertently kill the stag.<\/p><\/li><\/ul>

      Man, I lost my sh*t! I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. Call 999, you dickhead! Dude, needs to be resuscitated!<\/p>

      \u201c999, what's your emergency?\u201d<\/p>

      10 seconds into the call, guess what? Movement. The dude's alive! Thank f*ck! Quick, hang up. Pretend it never happened.<\/p>

      Anyhow, 20 minutes (and five voicemails from Tyne and Wear ambulance service) later, Dubi is back to normal and none the wiser. F*ck's sake.<\/p>

      Well, that was\u2026different.<\/p>

      \"rgq0ebzqhryrodg7ayaovkaczqwj8zzvooza2sa5uwzedq1z.png\"<\/p>

      Everybody hit the D-E-C-K<\/h3>

      September wasn't a total write-off. Mrs HZ and I took our little girl out for a walk one Saturday afternoon, to get her out of the house and have some fun down the park. We went on the swings and she slid down the biggest helter skelter she's ever been on. A rip-roaring success as far as park visits go, in my book. Awesome, now that's what I call a wholesome family outing. Ain't nothing gunna make this Saturday afternoon any better.<\/p>

      Holy SH*T! What's this parcel outside the door? Could it be? No way! Surely not!<\/p>

      THE FIRST EVER VEEBOM SKATEBOARDS! IN MY HANDS! AMAZING!<\/p>

      \"nvfkrvbkgshrns9xriekshz0jqybbwtcbfxbcubi6a0rz2tb.jpg\"<\/p>

      VeeBom skateboards = the beginning<\/em><\/p>

      9 months til I'm selling skateboards.<\/p>

      Ladies and gentlemen, aliens and robots, humans and humans\u2026 fasten your seatbelts!<\/p>

      \"shxlr0so8aqb5uo4rvivmf3jpkakqefcy4cpx0kx8ko6a9n4.png\"<\/p>

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